It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
