forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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