I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
