party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She's the barista slut.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
