I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
