Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize