I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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