i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
