if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Dignity is for republicans.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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