Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
