my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
