The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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