Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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