It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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