Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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