I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
