what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
