I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
