I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
wow bdsm is so cute
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
