I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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