She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
