they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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