I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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