butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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