she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
