But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My vagina just clenched in fear
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
