I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
