just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
