I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
