does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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