yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
