my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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