Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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