thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
