miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
