fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
