I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
