How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize