Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
