Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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