Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
