ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
