As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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