I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
