You're so nebulous sometimes
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
