Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
