No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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