Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Randomize
