I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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