Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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