Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
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