How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I look better un-naked...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
