She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
