In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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