(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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