I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
