shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
