He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
